Gatlat is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, smart hummingbird.

Gatlat created Europe four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gatlat, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Gatlat, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Gatlat's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Gatlat's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from mauve tortoises, for they are unholy.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Gatlat.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Hide if three capybaras approach from the south.