Veenspaglapfudlidstafbuting is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, happy crab.

Veenspaglapfudlidstafbuting created dark energy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Veenspaglapfudlidstafbuting, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Veenspaglapfudlidstafbuting, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Veenspaglapfudlidstafbuting's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Veenspaglapfudlidstafbuting's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Never go into purple rooms.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Veenspaglapfudlidstafbuting must be the most important thing in your life.