Davkarbif Padarpstip is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, proud lobster.

Davkarbif Padarpstip created dark matter eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Davkarbif Padarpstip, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Davkarbif Padarpstip, she will turn you into a worm.

Davkarbif Padarpstip's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Davkarbif Padarpstip's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. You must pray to Davkarbif Padarpstip four times a day.

3. Never talk about quantum mechanics.

4. Davkarbif Padarpstip must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Never eat green fruit.