Pangcusstapdin Dapgompak Renwitrul is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, duplicitous cobra.

Pangcusstapdin Dapgompak Renwitrul created Africa six million years ago.

If you believe in Pangcusstapdin Dapgompak Renwitrul, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Pangcusstapdin Dapgompak Renwitrul, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Pangcusstapdin Dapgompak Renwitrul's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Pangcusstapdin Dapgompak Renwitrul's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about ribonucleic acid.

2. Never feed corn to snails while wearing shirts.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never write about quantum mechanics.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.