Quamtailwat is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, self-assured pigeon.

Quamtailwat created vertebrates two billion years ago.

If you believe in Quamtailwat, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Quamtailwat, he will turn you into a duck.

Quamtailwat's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Quamtailwat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about onions.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Geese are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Never feed lots of parsnips to swans while wearing indigo trousers.

5. Do not chop down trees.