Quagrattig is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, dishonourable bee.

Quagrattig created carbon four billion years ago.

If you believe in Quagrattig, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Quagrattig, it will not care at all.

Quagrattig's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Quagrattig's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured gulls.

2. Erect a giant gray sculpture of Quagrattig in the centre of the settlement.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Never play with disobedient children.