Quartnurtfet is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, narcissistic jellyfish.

Quartnurtfet created an electron twelve years ago.

If you believe in Quartnurtfet, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Quartnurtfet, it will destroy your home planet.

Quartnurtfet's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Quartnurtfet's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Do not dye your hair indigo.

3. Never write about ultrasonics.

4. Never mention dogs.

5. Always take life seriously.