Venparkgem is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, amazing beaver.

Venparkgem created the Sombrero Galaxy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Venparkgem, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Venparkgem, he will boil you in a big pot.

Venparkgem's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Venparkgem's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat oranges.

2. Turtles are not to be trusted.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Erect a giant silicon sculpture of Venparkgem in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near birds while wearing cyan shirts and balancing three silver spheres on your back.