Dussbopflan is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, emotional parrot.

Dussbopflan created a bottom quark seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dussbopflan, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Dussbopflan, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Dussbopflan's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Dussbopflan's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about comets.

2. Put Dussbopflan first in all things.

3. You must never eat peas.

4. Run away from magenta snails, for they are unholy.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.