Cappoggam is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, passionate crocodile.

Cappoggam created the planet Saturn seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cappoggam, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Cappoggam, she will turn you into a puffin.

Cappoggam's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Cappoggam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill capybaras.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never go into fawn rooms.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Cappoggam.