Ratkemfidcebjigcin is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, merciful lobster.

Ratkemfidcebjigcin created the solar system six billion years ago.

If you believe in Ratkemfidcebjigcin, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Ratkemfidcebjigcin, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Ratkemfidcebjigcin's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Ratkemfidcebjigcin's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Ratkemfidcebjigcin's priests.

2. Run away from white porpoises, for they are unholy.

3. Always help sick aardvarks.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Never write about spacetime.