Bottimnart is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, almighty armadillo.

Bottimnart created matter six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bottimnart, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Bottimnart, he will come to you in dreams.

Bottimnart's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Bottimnart's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate porpoises.

2. Bottimnart must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Erect a giant nickel sculpture of Bottimnart in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never laugh in holy places.

5. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.