Sitfotshav is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, amazing wolf.

Sitfotshav created the world five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sitfotshav, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Sitfotshav, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Sitfotshav's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Sitfotshav's Holy Commandments

1. Put Sitfotshav first in all things.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Run away from brown ducks, for they are unholy.