Dityambom is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, annoying dog.

Dityambom created light five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dityambom, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Dityambom, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Dityambom's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Dityambom's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never write about deoxyribonucleic acid.

3. Never write about dwarf planets.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Never think about quantum gravity.