Vighotnad is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, clever scorpion.

Vighotnad created silver five billion years ago.

If you believe in Vighotnad, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Vighotnad, it will laugh at you.

Vighotnad's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Vighotnad's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Vighotnad's priests.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate seals.

3. Never hurt monkeys.

4. You must love Vighotnad.

5. Do not trade with those who eat peas.