Pomtarpjinrotjin is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, benevolent otter.

Pomtarpjinrotjin created the planet Earth twelve years ago.

If you believe in Pomtarpjinrotjin, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Pomtarpjinrotjin, he will ignore you.

Pomtarpjinrotjin's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Pomtarpjinrotjin's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Retreat if five voles approach from the north.

3. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Pomtarpjinrotjin on top of all buildings.

4. Always help foxes.

5. Eagles are unholy and should not be approached.