Gomnadpop is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, conceited ant.

Gomnadpop created light six million years ago.

If you believe in Gomnadpop, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Gomnadpop, she will ignore you.

Gomnadpop's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Gomnadpop's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gomnadpop.

2. Gomnadpop must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Retreat if four frogs approach from the south.

4. Always help ducks.

5. Do not drink alcohol.