Motstikarm is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, staggering squirrel.

Motstikarm created time and space eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Motstikarm, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Motstikarm, he will be very sad.

Motstikarm's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Motstikarm's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at black holes.

2. Never think about ultrasonics near dogs while wearing blue kilts and balancing seven platinum spheres on your back.

3. Erect four silicon sculptures of Motstikarm on top of important buildings.

4. Pray towards the south.

5. Always wear red.