Hogsatyarl is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, wise cow.

Hogsatyarl created a charm quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Hogsatyarl, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Hogsatyarl, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Hogsatyarl's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Hogsatyarl's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at dwarf planets.

2. Do not speak about aubergines.

3. Hogsatyarl loves goats, so they must be respected.

4. Erect a large iron sculpture of Hogsatyarl on top of all buildings.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Hogsatyarl.