Lamzigbess is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, merciless wasp.

Lamzigbess created humankind two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lamzigbess, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Lamzigbess, it will turn you into a puffin.

Lamzigbess' most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Lamzigbess' Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always help sick geese.

4. Never paint your legs indigo.

5. Never play with disobedient children.