Fenfemvonk Flansawfig is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, ruthless shrew.

Fenfemvonk Flansawfig created a charm quark nine million years ago.

If you believe in Fenfemvonk Flansawfig, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Fenfemvonk Flansawfig, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Fenfemvonk Flansawfig's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Fenfemvonk Flansawfig's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Always look after injured snakes.

4. Never feed coconuts to horses while wearing indigo trousers.

5. Do not leap in public.