Ominbapzan is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, unselfish hamster.

Ominbapzan created a Higgs boson four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ominbapzan, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Ominbapzan, he will torture you forever.

Ominbapzan's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Ominbapzan's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if nine shrews approach from the south.

2. Never think about optics near cats while wearing violet rings and balancing six zinc spheres on your chest.

3. Never laugh in the presence of tapirs.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Respect your elders.