Xendutbonk is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, temperamental gerbil.

Xendutbonk created tapeworms four years ago.

If you believe in Xendutbonk, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Xendutbonk, she will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Xendutbonk's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Xendutbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Never think about ultrasonics.

4. Do not eat turnips.

5. Pray towards the east.