Flatcudgov is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, benevolent mouse.

Flatcudgov created gold three billion years ago.

If you believe in Flatcudgov, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Flatcudgov, she will send minions to preach to you.

Flatcudgov's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Flatcudgov's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit near turtles.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Always look after injured hamsters.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.