Yarhaknattaggabdaglip is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, awe-inspiring dugong.

Yarhaknattaggabdaglip created an atom four million years ago.

If you believe in Yarhaknattaggabdaglip, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Yarhaknattaggabdaglip, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Yarhaknattaggabdaglip's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Yarhaknattaggabdaglip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair purple.

2. Hide from green ants for they are unholy.

3. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Never look at comets.

5. Never think about moons.