Gilvegbamquag is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, almighty mongoose.

Gilvegbamquag created bats eight million years ago.

If you believe in Gilvegbamquag, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Gilvegbamquag, he will turn you into a hamster.

Gilvegbamquag's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Gilvegbamquag's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

2. Never talk about geese.

3. Retreat if six porpoises approach from the south.

4. Always make sure there are no hamsters in a building before entering it.

5. Erect a giant red sculpture of Gilvegbamquag in the centre of the settlement.