Camdusstiggodcusskom is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, self-assured aardvark.

Camdusstiggodcusskom created humanity five million years ago.

If you believe in Camdusstiggodcusskom, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Camdusstiggodcusskom, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Camdusstiggodcusskom's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Camdusstiggodcusskom's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never think about the weak nuclear force near birds while wearing yellow trousers and balancing three platinum spheres on your feet.

4. Never leap in the presence of turtles.

5. Never think ill of sick monkeys.