Tabbeglinkar is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, dishonourable grasshopper.

Tabbeglinkar created the solar system seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tabbeglinkar, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Tabbeglinkar, it will curse you with boils.

Tabbeglinkar's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Tabbeglinkar's Holy Commandments

1. Turtles are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Never leap in the presence of sharks.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Learn five new languages a year.

5. Never feed peas to otters while wearing trousers.