Gessgupwik is a god.

It takes the form of a large, caring dog.

Gessgupwik created parasitic wasps seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gessgupwik, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Gessgupwik, it will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Gessgupwik's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Gessgupwik's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.

3. Always obey Gessgupwik's priests.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Do not wear nickel on your body.