Hat is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, narcissistic tapir.

Hat created light five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hat, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Hat, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Hat's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Hat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Always make sure there are no voles in a building before entering it.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Never wear shirts.