Yak Hudhudlag is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, self-assured fly.

Yak Hudhudlag created everything that exists four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yak Hudhudlag, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Yak Hudhudlag, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Yak Hudhudlag's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Yak Hudhudlag's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about ultrasonics near pigs while wearing pink shoes and balancing four gold spheres on your arms.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Learn seven new languages a year.

4. Never feed melons to great tits while wearing shirts.

5. Yak Hudhudlag loves turtles, so they must be respected.