Bomlinfoss is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, tranquil dog.

Bomlinfoss created Europe four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bomlinfoss, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Bomlinfoss, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Bomlinfoss' most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Bomlinfoss' Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your back purple.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Do not dye your hair fawn.

5. Do not eat limes.