Hompaskam is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, self-assured gnu.

Hompaskam created a top quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Hompaskam, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Hompaskam, it will jump up and down on your head.

Hompaskam's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Hompaskam's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about gravity near snakes while wearing magenta shirts and balancing nine silicon spheres on your chest.

2. Always wear green.

3. Retreat if four sheep approach from the east.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.