Abbeggesscip is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, tiresome badger.

Abbeggesscip created silver five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Abbeggesscip, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Abbeggesscip, he will turn you into a plant.

Abbeggesscip's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Abbeggesscip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about grapes.

2. Never think about ultrasonics near gulls while wearing white kilts and balancing seven titanium spheres on your head.

3. Never think about dwarf planets.

4. Never talk about quantum mechanics near snakes while wearing blue trousers and balancing eight lead spheres on your face.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.