Satarmgov is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, slow mouse.

Satarmgov created bats nine million years ago.

If you believe in Satarmgov, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Satarmgov, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Satarmgov's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Satarmgov's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your head turquoise.

2. Never write about asteroids.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Erect a giant tin sculpture of Satarmgov in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never mention shrews.