Bagmithiv is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, dishonourable clam.

Bagmithiv created viruses three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bagmithiv, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Bagmithiv, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Bagmithiv's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Bagmithiv's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from white eagles for they are unholy.

2. Do not bounce in public.

3. Horses are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Never chant near turtles.