Quartcadquart is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, annoying lion.

Quartcadquart created the solar system seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quartcadquart, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Quartcadquart, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Quartcadquart's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Quartcadquart's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Never talk about enzymes.

3. Do not shave your back.

4. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place in red.

5. Always treat geese with great respect.