Nullfonweg is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, compassionate goblin.

Nullfonweg created life two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nullfonweg, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Nullfonweg, he will turn you into a puffin.

Nullfonweg's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Nullfonweg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill aardvarks.

2. Never write about ribonucleic acid.

3. Never wear tights.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. You must never eat figs.