Titgofcem is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, pitiless otter.

Titgofcem created light two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Titgofcem, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Titgofcem, she will turn you into a duck.

Titgofcem's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Titgofcem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat aubergines.

2. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place in yellow.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Never think about dark energy.

5. Erect a giant white sculpture of Titgofcem in the centre of the settlement.