Nuttyattxuckcar is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, resourceful hippopotamus.

Nuttyattxuckcar created viruses four years ago.

If you believe in Nuttyattxuckcar, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Nuttyattxuckcar, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Nuttyattxuckcar's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Nuttyattxuckcar's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. You must never eat grapes.

4. Do not run in public.

5. Never feed pineapples to swans while wearing kilts.