Tarpdav is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, narcissistic zebra.

Tarpdav created a charm quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Tarpdav, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Tarpdav, he will manifest in front of you.

Tarpdav's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Tarpdav's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Never think about thermodynamics near monkeys while wearing green shorts and balancing three silicon spheres on your back.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Always help dolphins in need.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.