Ponpangbepvan is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, selfish mongoose.

Ponpangbepvan created energy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Ponpangbepvan, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Ponpangbepvan, it will destroy your favourite star.

Ponpangbepvan's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Ponpangbepvan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hop in public.

2. Never think about photosynthesis.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Never talk about rats.

5. Do not cook food in pots.