Shavcardin is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, flying bat.

Shavcardin created tapeworms seven million years ago.

If you believe in Shavcardin, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Shavcardin, he will turn you into a hamster.

Shavcardin's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Shavcardin's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum field theory near cats while wearing fawn corsets and balancing nine zinc spheres on your back.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Do not dye your hair white.

4. Hide from yellow dolphins for they are unholy.

5. Do not speak about grapes.