Xinstipbotgomhom is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, loving walrus.

Xinstipbotgomhom created the universe three million years ago.

If you believe in Xinstipbotgomhom, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Xinstipbotgomhom, she will turn you into a puffin.

Xinstipbotgomhom's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Xinstipbotgomhom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hop in public.

2. Never write about stars.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Always obey Xinstipbotgomhom's priests.

5. Learn eight new languages a year.