Bassnuttcip is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, loving squid.

Bassnuttcip created a bottom quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bassnuttcip, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Bassnuttcip, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Bassnuttcip's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Bassnuttcip's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Do not trade with those who eat peas.

3. Never feed lots of grapes to dolphins while wearing cyan tights.

4. Never talk about whales.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Bassnuttcip.