Lidlopfutmig is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, impressive rhinoceros.

Lidlopfutmig created light three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lidlopfutmig, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Lidlopfutmig, he will turn you into a puffin.

Lidlopfutmig's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Lidlopfutmig's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Never think ill of sick dolphins.

4. Run away from yellow eagles, for they are unholy.

5. Never bounce near tortoises.