Nignurmobgutnurt is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, impressive dryad.

Nignurmobgutnurt created the planet Mars eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nignurmobgutnurt, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Nignurmobgutnurt, he will turn you into a duck.

Nignurmobgutnurt's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Nignurmobgutnurt's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate ants.

2. Do not sprint in public.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Never eat aubergines.

5. Do not keep seven swans in a large pit.