Ponbonkgab Ponfigtom Shavhabveg is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, smart pigeon.

Ponbonkgab Ponfigtom Shavhabveg created an up quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Ponbonkgab Ponfigtom Shavhabveg, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Ponbonkgab Ponfigtom Shavhabveg, it will laugh at you.

Ponbonkgab Ponfigtom Shavhabveg's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Ponbonkgab Ponfigtom Shavhabveg's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Draw representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Never think about special relativity near grasshopers while wearing purple tights and balancing five zinc spheres on your face.

5. Always help monkeys.