Mobvogzed is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, annoying elephant.

Mobvogzed created a Higgs boson three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Mobvogzed, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Mobvogzed, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Mobvogzed's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Mobvogzed's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about moons.

2. Run away from violet tapirs, for they are unholy.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not chop down trees.