Gumartnanloop is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, unthinking alligator.

Gumartnanloop created the solar system eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gumartnanloop, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Gumartnanloop, it will be very sad.

Gumartnanloop's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Gumartnanloop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of tin.

2. You must never eat coconuts.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate moths.

4. Never paint your chest violet.

5. Erect eight silver sculptures of Gumartnanloop on top of important buildings.